VACATION!

Wow. This is just pitiful. Those of you who care should really just follow me on instagram. Because this just is really hard to do.

Well, I'm just going to put up a few pictures, and then tell you that we're going on vacation. On Monday. For like, a month. And we're driving. (!!!!!!!!!!!)

Here are my children. And a little commentary.

I'm actually not sure. Maybe this is Josh? Nope. It's Spiderman. Nevermind.

This kid is, like, 7 months old now.

Twin lovin'.

This is a really flattering picture of my sister who came to visit.

The hooligans are 3!! (With a pretty cool pirate ship cake!)

Stomp rocket at the park!

He tolerates us so well.

Yes, some of those pictures have us in winter coats. And then there were a couple of days when we were in shorts, out sweating in 85 degrees. Because we live in the Midwest, and it can't make up its mind. But that's okay. We're having fun.

See you after I get some vacation pics!

I AM SO BAD AT THIS!

There goes another of my new year's resolutions. FAIL.

So Christmas happened, and it was adorable. The festivities were pretty modest, but we definitely had fun. And a lot of good food. Because I'm awesome. But the kids were great.


















And Katie's birthday happened, which was also adorable. We didn't have a friend party this year, but I made a point of making her a fancy cake that she totally loved.

No, I did not make the Joy doll out of fondant. Just the memories.

I can't think of much to say, but I want to get a blog post out there so you know we're still alive.




I thought I'd just give current standings on each of my kids. Here we go.



Katie, age 5

• Can write her full name
• Can sound out most words and figure out how to spell phonetically
• Has grown 2 whole inches since September
• Wants Rapunzel hair and to learn to ride her skateboard
• Is fascinated with zombies
• Is WAY too much like her mom for anybody's comfort
• IS GETTING REGISTERED FOR KINDERGARTEN *hyperventilating*

Josh, age 2.75

• REALLY wants to learn how to potty, but can't seem to get the hang of it
• Has also grown 2 whole inches since September
• Loves to snuggle his Mama again (he had a phase where he didn't need me, but now he does again)
• Loves Jake and the Neverland Pirates and pretending to be a robot
• Wears size 11 shoes already
• Is probably heavier than Katie by now. Maybe I should check. He probably is.
• Loves to steal people's food and then hide under the kitchen table with it
• Only eats MEAT. Sorry, CHICKEN. (because all meat is chicken, apparently)

Peter, age 2.75

• Has complete control of the whole going-potty thing, but has no motivation to give up his diapers
• Says really mature and intelligent things but in this incredibly high, squeaky voice that makes everybody roll over laughing
• Has ALSO grown 2 inches since September. I guess those Flintstones vitamins are working.
• Has perfected the sad, pitiful, give-me-everything-I-want-because-I'm-cute face
• Follows his big sister EVERYWHERE
• Spends 80% of every day pretending to be a puppy instead of a human
• Refuses to eat meat. Or, you know, anything that isn't cheese or peanut butter. Or chocolate.

Andy, age 4 months

• Is starting to be okay with people who are not mum. (He's decided Dad makes the cut, finally.)
• Loves to talk and squeak and sing songs
• Has this manly little chortle when you tickle him
• Is TOTALLY TEETHING ALREADY! WHAT THE GUACAMOLE IS THIS ABOUT?!?!?!?!
• Thinks his siblings are HILARIOUS.
• Mostly sleeps through the night. You know, until he started TEETHING. The little booger.
• Weighed (are you ready for this?) 15 lbs, 13 oz at his last doctor's visit (Feb 3). And 26.25" long. Holy guacamole.
• Holds the record for most thigh rolls, probably ever.
• Can totally roll front to back, has rolled back to front a couple times but doesn't do it consistently yet. 
• Thinks he's a big kid and wants to stand up all the time.

I still can't believe that my kids are so big. Mostly I'm still having a nervous breakdown because we took Katie's pre-registration form to her school this week. She's on their list now. There's no turning back. She's going to school! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In other news, Mike has decided that he definitely wants to be an ENT (ear, nose, and throat doctor). He lucked out and got to do a rotation with an ENT in December, and fell totally in love with that specialty (which was already the top of his list). So now I get to spend all summer writing essays about why he so desperately wants to be an ENT and go to each specific ENT residency program next year. *sigh* 

Me? Well, I'm still not losing weight. No matter how hard I try to motivate myself. But at least I'm not gaining either . . . Andy takes care of that.

I'm also totally de-junking my house, little by little. See, in earlier times I was a bit of a sentimental pack rat. But now I just feel like we have so much junk. I wish my kids would, like, feed themselves or something so I could actually accomplish anything. Alas.

Now for a picture dump. I'm making a goal to write on here more often and maybe next time I'll have words in my brain. Happy Valentine's!

At almost 3 months . . . no cute baby-in-a-stocking pics for us.

  

Two guys on their scooters!

This is what my boys look like in real life.

Plastic glasses for sparkling cider on New Years!

The trick to posing your kids - put on a movie!

Our library is so cool. (Also, WE LOVE STAR WARS!!!!!)

"Mom! Get up! We're ready to play!"

It's like we're twins!

Playing "Donut Pete"

Birthday lunch date to Wendy's!

Andy with his buddies, Blake and Corbin!

Selfie!

Birthday dress from Grandma!

 If you stuck it out to the end, congratulations! I'll try to be better about words next time.

Wait, Brittany's Still Alive? Since When?

Yeah, yeah, I know.

Okay, so what do I need to catch you all up on? Everything? Okay. Oh, and this is probably going to be a huge photo dump, so stay with me.

First, there was Grandma. She was here for like, three weeks after Andy was born. She saved my buns.

She's more popular than I am.

Isn't she pretty?

She made us dinner, she wrangled hooligans, she made Halloween costumes, and she let me sleep all the time. And, something that really meant a lot to me, we hung out and did nails and stuff that I've missed out on doing with my mom and sisters the last few years. 

This is the back of my head.

I'm quite proud of those nails. It's harder to do them on my own fingers. But I could do them on my mom's nails . . .

When she left, there was a lot of trauma. There wasn't any crying in the car, or drama or anything, because the hooligans were asleep. I had explained the whole situation, and I told them we were taking grandma to the airport, but you know. They're hooligans. So we got home, and I got their sleeping carcasses out of the car, and they started to wake up. And I was starting to get shoes and coats off, when Josh said, "Is Grandma already upstairs?" And I had to explain.

Yeah, it was rough. Luckily, all of the other things I have to tell you about are happy. Like Halloween.

Isn't my mom the coolest? She made Elmo, the Wicked Witch, and Wesley/Dread Pirate Roberts (even those faux leather boot cuffs! They're amazing!), and I made my Buttercup dress. I put Andy in his gray jammies with a hat that had ears so he could be my R.O.U.S. We were going to make Cookie Monster, but we hunted all over town, and there was NO BLUE FUR ANYWHERE. So, unfortunately, Cookie Monster was purchased. But he's still dang cute.

You know we had to try.

I won't tell you how much we had to vacuum up all the red Elmo fur.

While my mom was still here we tried to go to the pumpkin farm, like we did last year. But the only day that Mike could go with us was super rainy. Like, super rainy. So we got some apple donuts and such and didn't get to play on the pumpkin farm toys. But we still got pumpkins!

And then we carved those pumpkins! I was pretty much just taking care of a hooligan baby. But Mike and my mom totally took the hooligans' ideas and visualized them.

Josh just wanted to "make soup" the whole time.

Yeah, so my boys carved pumpkins in their underwear. So what.

Katie also totally owned her little indoor soccer class. Of which she was the queen.

I wasn't there when she got her ribbon, because, you know, newly postpartum. But my mom went to her last day and played the parents vs kids game and helped her get her ribbon. Because my mom is awesome. :)

November began rather roughly. Because my mom left on October 30. So November marked the first days of my being the mom of 4 all on my own with Mike at work. Holy catfish. There was a lot of Netflix and snuggling. Oh, and lots of shenanigans, because they learned quickly that with all four of them, and one being a new baby who took all the attention, they could get away with a LOT.

She is his favorite person. Seriously.

See? Shenanigans. Involving . . . pomegranate seeds? I think?

This was the best part of the pumpkin farm.

Josh actually fell asleep before he could get upstairs.

Fall in Chicago is SO BEAUTIFUL!

But then, there was Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is the BOMB.

We make turkey hats.

"No, boys, you have to stand here for the picture!"

We make pie.

I think I know some boys who like pie.

We even take the occasional nap.

We had a super lazy Thanksgiving day, just making and eating tons of food in our pajamas. And I'm sure good at making tons of food. That is one thing I can confidently say that I excel at.

Oh, and there was this one time when it decided to be winter for like, 12 hours and we had some snow.

It melted shortly thereafter. And it was 60 degrees today.

The day after Thanksgiving, Mike's parents and little sister got to come see us! It was so fun. We didn't do much while they were here (Chicago was full of protests and riots and stuff so we couldn't go there), but I think it was awesome just getting to spend time with them. The hooligans now think that Auntie Tess is the coolest person in the world.

Maybe they'll learn someday to look at the camera when they say "cheese."

I think the only thing we really did was go to the zoo. Oh, and I got to go grocery shopping ALL BY MYSELF. It was like Disneyland. But without the spending thousands of dollars and waiting in line for six years. I'm smarter than that. 

Also, while they were here we blessed Andy!

He's official now.

So, I have this cute little white blessing outfit that one of the boys wore when we blessed them (and borrowed a matching one from Mike's sister Kliss). BUT, when I pulled it out, it seems that it is newborn-sized. And . . . um . . . Andy was NEVER newborn sized. Maybe in the womb at 32 weeks or something . . . giant chunker. But wearing white for a baby blessing is just a tradition anyhow, so he wore his cute train sweater.

Speaking of giant chunky babies, Andy had his two month appointment last week. At TWO MONTHS, exactly, he was 13 lbs, 3 oz, and 24 inches long. That's THREE POUNDS and TWO WHOLE INCHES in two months. Holy Toledo.

Here's at TWO months.

Here's at ONE month.

So totally different, am I right? (No. Not different. He just smiles and talks to me now.)

I was all sure I wasn't going to inundate you with Andy making weird faces, but I'm probably just going to inundate you with the rest of the hooligans making weird faces. But first, it's time for our NEWS REPORT (enter techy-sounding news broadcast intro music).

First of all, Mike and I went to the eye doctor. And he . . . NEEDS GLASSES! Buahahahahhahaha!!!!

Look how handsome and professional he looks!

It's just funny to me that people who've always had 20/20 vision sometimes end up getting glasses. Like my mom. And now my husband. I feel so gratified.

In other news, my children are adorable sweethearts, when they're not trying to get themselves killed or anything. Example: the other day Katie had to apologize to Josh for something (not an unusual occurrence). I told her to go give him love and tell him sorry, but she wouldn't get within three feet of him. So he just stood there, held out his arms, and said, "I'll catch you!" *heart melting*

Katie and I totally clash. This has been going on for a while. I think when you put two stubborn, strong-willed women together, you're not going to have a happy, peaceful home. But sometimes she has her moments. Like the other day, I had a chocolate orange, and I gave each of the kids 2 pieces of it, then put it away. The boys completely devoured them instantly, but Katie went off to savor hers, nibbling it slowly. The boys then started begging for more, but I insisted that I had put it away and they had to wait until later for more chocolate. So Katie takes her second piece, which she had just started, and splits it into three pieces, giving the two biggest hunks to her brothers.

Sometimes she's a better person than I am.

"Hey Mom, take a picture of me with these chips!"

  

Peter during his heavy metal phase.

Everyone knows the Swiffer is like Disneyland.

In a flash of rebellion, Peter decided to dress in a manner that would leave all behind him in a state of bewilderment.

Everything you've heard about twins being attached are true.

"Guys, can't you love him from a slightly bigger distance?"

"Mom! I'm getting married!"

 

Working out with her gives me self-esteem issues.

Watching the one night of snow we had.

My shopping date. '"Hey Mom! Take a picture of me with the cranberry pop!"

  

This is how he decided to come to dinner.

Before the feast.

This is what happens when you help with the dishes.

#lewisandclark2.0

In totally unrelated news, my kids LOVE crafting. I was making Christmas decorations, and they all decided to get out their paint shirts and join me. And it was awesome.

You wish you had a Harry Potter tree.

You would NOT BELIEVE how much frosting they used during this.

 Then, this morning was the ward Christmas breakfast! Yay!!! We love this party.

Eatin' cookies. NBD.

"I can tell from the look in your eye, your name might not be on my nice list over there."

If you made it to the end of this, congratulations! You win a puppy! . . . Okay, not really. But you do win a Merry Christmas from me. Hopefully I'm better at this from now on. But you know I'm not going to be. *Sigh . . .*