Ode to the Underside of a Lawn Mower

I'm going to Seattle in the morning. (!!!!!) And after that, i have a week off just to pack and move back to Provo. No work, no other engagements, other than to pack, say goodbye, and write stuff. Thus, I think I will be able to post a whole bunch of my story up. However, I don't know how many of you still read this thing, since it's been kind of lax all summer. Maybe I'll send out an email.

Right now, I'm going to write a poem. It's called, ahem, "Ode to the Underside of a Lawn Mower"

Oh, thou great and rumbling, green machinery,
What happy times thy rumblings me have caused;
Though moldy grasses thou hast giv'n to me,
When faced with mowing never have I paused.
Yet when the yard is clean and mowing o'er,
I have yet more to do 'fore work is done,
For tho' the grass is even'd out and more,
Thine blades are still entrapped--'tis never fun.
And so the mighty crowbar do I wield,
And bravely laying 'neath thee on my back,
I poke my fearing face beneath thy shield
To give the nasty clippings there a whack.
And then when all is through and face is stained,
I then stand up, although my back is pained.

That is my poem. And yes, it is a Shakespearean Sonnet, not to be confused with the less appealing (to me) Petrarchan or Spenserean Sonnet. Indeed.

Summer's almost over

And now it's time for getting ready to go back to school. I still have to pack all of my life up and put it in boxes. I'm terribly sorry for my horrible negligence. This summer has been really crazy. I promise, on all that is good and holy, that i will spend the few days that I am alone in my apartment waiting for my roommate to come home writing my piece, and post an incredibly long and beautiful piece of my ...piece to entertain you all. I hope you will forgive me when I give you an entire chapter. Seriously. You betta watch out, fools.

No, I don't quite have the next part of my piece ready

But I have something that will help stall for time. I'll have it tomorrow, I promise.
I recently received one of these forwards from my mother and got kind of bored, so I filled it out. Once you've read mine, you can post your version in my comments if you want, so we can all compare. Kind of interesting...

*A is for age.
I'm totally 19. And I just heard that women hit their prime at about 18, so it's downhill from here.
*B is for burger of choice.*
If I must have a burger, it must be the biggest, fattiest patty you've got, with all the typical lettuce, cheese, tomato, ketchup, a little onion, etc. But I usually don't choose burgers :) Salad! Woo!
*C is for what car you drive.*
I totally drive the old '91 Honda. Stick shift, cracked windshield, fabric peeling off the doors, DADDY license plates, it's AWESOME.
*D is for Dog's name*.
Does a little brother named Sammy count? :P No, I don't have a dog. I don't like dogs. Dogs are gross. If I had a dog, I would name it Captain Poops-a-lot.
*E is for essential item you use every day.*
Big rubber chore boots! Woohoo! Yeah for being the farm hand! Other than that? How 'bout a toothbrush? My GLASSES? Ooh, that's a good one. I can't see without those :)
*F is for favorite tv show at the moment.*
Recently, I've kind of been big into watching old Wishbone episodes. They're so amazing. Oh! And Hannah and I watched this episode of this new show called "I Survived a Japanese Game Show". Can you say ridiculous? It was so funny!
*G is for favorite game*.
Hmmm...I have lots. Top favorites: Curses, Balderdash, Uno, Sorry, anything I can play with people I love and have a fabulous time!
*H is for Hometown.*
Boise, Idaho! woo! I know, I know, ten years ago I hated this place like crazy, but now I don't want to be connected with Utah in any way...don't tell anybody...:)
*I is for instruments you play*
Piano, Cello, Guitar (un peu :), Fife, Parkerphone, Harmonica...do tissue-box banjos count? And of course I sing like crazy, all the time. Seriously.
*J is for favorite juice.*
Kind of big into grape, strawberry lemonade, and orange guava passion fruit. It's yummy.
*K is for who you'd like to kiss.*
Mmmmmm, Mike. ;) Or any fat baby cheeks. Or my dad's whiskery ones.
*L is for last restaurant you ate at.*
Um...no comment? Probably IHOP on vacation. Maybe. I don't remember.
*M is for your favorite Muppet*.
I'm a serious Gonzo fan. Really. He's AWESOME. I've also always been kind of big into Kermit the Frog.
*N is for number of piercings.*
One pair in my ears! Yay for following the prophet!
*O is for overnight hospital stays.*
Um, maybe when I was BORN. Seriously. Nothing has EVER happened to me.
*P is for people you were with today.*
Okay, let's go in chronological order. Hannah, Mom, James (he was the zombie i had breakfast with, right?), Gram, Papa, the driveway paver guys (there were two of them) Aunt Annie, Alec, Trevor, Parker, Hannah, Sarah, Sam, Emma, Zach, Dad. And I talked to Mike for a long time on the phone. Does that count?
*Q is for what you do with your quiet time.*
I usually wish I were sleeping...but I'm usually either reading, playing the piano, or talking to Mike. Most often the last one. Side effect of being TOTALLY in love with him.
*R is for biggest regret*.
Hmmmm, I really don't have any big ones. That I had been more active when I was younger. You know, when I was a kid, I wanted more than anything to be a ballerina, but always thought it was too expensive. Now I'm a writer and musician. I would say that was my regret, but i love my life now. If i had been a dancer, I would be a different person, and that wouldn't be as much fun.
*S is for status.*
SO dating the most amazing guy in the entire world, Mike Morgan. <3
*T is for time you woke up today.*
Ugh. Never. My alarm went off at 6:45, but I think I didn't actually wake up until I took a shower at 4 in the afternoon after work. Gram kept telling me to take a nap while we were cleaning out the barn floor.
*U is for something unique.*
How many of you are farm hands, and own your VERY OWN pair of black rubber chore boots? And don't get weirded out at all when Gram comes around the barn holding two headless roosters upside down and asks you to get the "guts bucket" for her? I didn't think so. Yep, that's my life.
*V is for vegetable you love.*
Tomatoes!!!! Yummy yummy! I love tomatoes. Ask anyone. I also love any home grown vegetables, like fresh peas and carrots and cucumbers, and I'm becoming more accustomed to eating zucchini (that might be because it NEVER ENDS).
*W is for worst habit.*
I think it's my ADD. I'm never focused long enough to clean my room before I'm moving on. (No, I don't really have ADD, but that's what it feels like)
*X is for number of x-rays you've had.*
Dental scans all the time, and I think I had one of my arm once, but I don't remember what it was for. Something weird happened to it? Maybe? I've never broken anything.
*Y is for yummy food you ate today.*
I had some spinach ravioli with marinara sauce, and then had chicken cordon bleu with my dad for dinner. Mmmm, yummy.
*Z is for zodiac sign.*
Cancer. Kinda figures, eh?

Things I have learned while backpacking in the mountains

#1-- Although Hannah has recently acquired sports-induced asthma and was wearing three different braces on her knees and ankle, it does NOT mean that it is easier to keep up with her. That woman is a beast, seriously.

#2-- Just because you're hiking in the mountains in July doesn't mean that you won't need your snowshoes.

#3--Don't ever blame your father just because he made you learn how to set up a tent properly. It WILL happen. Seriously.

#4--When backpacking, a well-stocked First Aid kit is ALWAYS worth the extra weight.

*Note: My hand is fine. I cut it up pretty badly when I fell on the EXTREMELY steep, muddy, and very rocky trail STRAIGHT down the mountain, but now it's already becoming really sweet battle scars. No worries.

#5--When backpacking in the morning (as in, you woke up early to do it...and didn't go to bed very early the night before...) it IS acceptable to take a siesta...that may or may not have lasted 2 1/2 hours...

#6--Giant Pine Beetles CAN and WILL spit on you if you so inhumanely pick them up by their antennae and irritate them.

#7--When you blaze your own trail to the top of the mountain ridge (and we seriously did, I'm not kidding!) it is absolutely necessary to take every opportunity to stand on rocks and take adventurous looking pictures.

#8--It is quite possible for your friends, no matter how cute they really are, to remind you of Kermit the Frog once in a while. (I love you, Lexi!)

#9--When everybody else goes into the lake and swims around in it, despite the cold wind, it is perfectly acceptable to stay on shore in your nice warm sneakers and sweatshirt. While they freeze. Mahaha.

#10--When there is cherry preserve topping to slather it with, even instant cheesecake made with powdered milk and a sugarless crust tastes absolutely delicious!

#11--Eating fresh lake-fish that had just been foil cooked in a fire will NOT kill you (but it still will taste like fish. GROSS).

*Note: Nonny claimed that it was very important for her to document this occasion, to prove to my dad that I had ACTUALLY done it. Seriously. I did. It was gross.

#12--Fish = Gross. Seriously.

#13--When your mother packs you giant glow sticks that are conveniently colored red and blue, it is absolutely necessary to have an epic light saber battle in the darkened tent, much to the amusement of your next door neighbors.
(Seriously, we pulled them out of the wrapper, broke them and shook them, and Nonny immediately said, "Oooh, I get to be Anakin!" in her cheerleader voice. Only a Whiting girl would think of Star Wars FIRST).

#14--Backpacking straight up a mountain is FAR more enjoyable when done sporting a funky hairdo.

#15--Sometimes, you just gotta face it and pull your inhaler out of your backpack.
I love you Nonny!!!

#16--Sometimes, you just gotta scale a rock.
"It's like spending a year as an Amish--you just gotta make some butter! You just GOTTA climb a mountain!" --Julianna :)

#17--Happiness = "Steve's Cafe, Location 8300 ft."
Okay, so there are other things that are a lot happier. Such as the fact that Mike is coming to see me again on Friday!!! Hurray!!!! *dance in a circle just because you can, oh yeah!*
But seriously, you have no idea how happy I was to have real food. Seriously. Sun Chips = yummy.

#18--No matter how far away from your brothers you are, or how dead your light sabers have become, you can never completely avoid Star Wars.
Yeah, it's the Death Star. I'm not even kidding.
But I got really good reception as long as we were next to it...

That's all for today's show. Thanks for watching.
*Author's note: I will post my next installation of the piece tomorrow night. My fingers are kinda tired right now. I will MAKE SURE to get it done before Mike gets here. Definitely.
And this new part? Never been read by anyone but me. Not even Nicole or anybody. Seriously. It's AWESOME. Okay, so just more character introduction, but who cares? :)

"Wow, it feels good to be wearing my own underwear!"

Says the Parker-man, as we drive away from Grandma's house. I don't think I'll explain that one. It's funnier without it :)
Yeah, there have been some funny things going on. And I've been pretty busy. I will have a big fat catching-up post with pictures and everything sometime in the not-too-distant future. Have patience, my dear bloggers.
Oh! And I'm writing more of my story right now, this minute, as soon as I hit "post". Seriously.

I have recently been informed that I have no excuses...

I think that is incorrect.

This is my excuse.

Keehee!

Piece: Part IX

He smiled as he locked the door behind him and shrugged his jacket on, then lazily strolled down the hallway to where she stood. “A little impatient today, are we?”
“No, just bent on keeping both of our jobs,” she sighed as the doors slid open and they stepped inside the elevator. Inside a man in a dark coat stood staring at the ceiling, holding a black briefcase in one hand and a leash in the other. On the other end of the leash stood the largest Rottweiler Matthew had ever seen. The dog eyed him and immediately began to growl. Maya didn’t even seem to notice the dog, pushed the ground floor button and leaned on the side railing.
“So, what were you doing last night, Matt?” she asked him warily. “It’s not like you to sleep late like this. Don’t tell me you’ve fallen into bad habits and I need to start an intervention.” He knew she was only partially joking. The ends of his lips curled in a half-smile, and he turned to her, away from the growling monster.
“Naw, last night was just hard. Did you see that accident on the news? Big one, on the freeway,” he tried to change the subject. She didn’t buy it. “No, but that’s too bad. Stop trying to avoid me. I’m worried about you. Ever since Ethan’s…accident…you’ve been so anti-social. This has got to stop,” she stood up straight and strolled out of the elevator as it opened. Matthew followed after, looking back at the Rottweiler. The man and his dog stayed in the elevator, both staring after him. A chill ran down his spine as he turned back and followed Maya’s brisk pace.