Armpit muscles and other such nonsense.

There has been a significant amount of discussion in this house related to armpit muscles. Agreed, most of it is to do with Mike's being tested furiously on all the muscles, nerves, arteries, bones, and knobbly "tuberosities" on the bones located in the armpit. But there's more.

Brittany: Are you almost done going potty so you can go to bed?
Katie: Nope! Hey Mommy, we have muscles to squeeze out our poops. See my muscles? My muscles are in my armpits.

Yep, that's Katie. Here's some more.

Mike: Hey Katie, is the refrigerator running?
Katie: No, there's our refrigerator right there!

Katie (Playing blocks): Look, sweetheart, I made you a present because it's your birthday!
Me: Oh really? How old am I?
Katie: Um . . . 32!

Mike: *Explaining all kinds of anatomy stuff of which I have no inkling*
Katie: That makes me sick!

Me: What do you do when you want something?
Katie: Um . . . do surgery?

And now, we're going to compare the personalities of my man children.

First, let's talk about their reactions when it's the other brother's turn for a bite of sweet potatoes.

Peter gets excited.

Joshy gets anxiety.

Next, let's talk about how they treat each other when I put them on the floor together.

This is what it's really like having a twin brother. (Hey Val, how ya doing?)

Next, let's talk (for real) about my silly boys. Also, remember that one picture up there of Peter in his seat waiting for his next bite of sweet potatoes? Well, I didn't make a video, but if I had, what you would hear is manic laughter. Like, manic. It's hilarious.

Also, when they're both done eating, and I'm burping them, Joshy gets a little bit sad and wants to snuggle. Peter, no matter how I'm holding him, wants to see. He takes, like, forever to fall asleep because he keeps fighting off every attempt to snuggle. Even when he's got enormous bags under his eyes. Little booger. But in all fairness, his fighting off sleep is not crying. He's blowing bubbles and giggling. I tend to think of him as more a free spirit while Josh is my snuggly boy. Yeah.

Last boy thing: whenever I stick the boys on the floor there are toys on the floor next to them. And occasionally, if they get upset, I will shake a toy over their faces to distract them. Now, you have to understand that there is a universally accepted toy that is the coolest (it's the jingly ball with grabby things on it, in case you're wondering). Say, perchance, one of them gets a hold of the universally accepted coolest toy. Naturally, the other one wants it. Here's how they react.

Peter: GAAAAAAHHHHHH! Give me that toy! (Manic hyperventilation) I want it! *Grab grab face pull ear grab snatch scratch grab grab* TOOOOYYYYY!!!!!!!

Josh: Oh Pete! That's a strange place to put a piano . . . *Sneakily grab the toy from behind my back and Peter is totally distracted the other direction*

This has happened. Multiple times.

Now, some commentary from me. I have begun official pumpkin season. I have made pumpkin cookies, pumpkin spice white hot chocolate (BAHAHAHAHAH! YES!!!!) and tomorrow will probably be pumpkin bread. I love fall. Fall is my favorite food. Also, it all has pumpkin in it, which is technically a vegetable . . . so . . . eating pumpkin cookies and pumpkin bread is practically like having a serving of vegetables. Yep, totally legit. We're sticking with it.

Speaking of food, here are a few pictures of food I have made recently just to make you feel all jealous and hungry. Buaha.

Yes. I made this. With a broiling pan! *giggle giggle*

These are the non-drug version of cocaine.

Rich chocolate cupcakes with raspberry cream cheese frosting. MMMMMMMMMm *drool drool*

Oh man. I think I need some more baked goods in my life. Bring on the pumpkin bread!

As promised.

Hey everybody. Today is one of those days that doesn't feel like real life. I'm not sure how coherent this post will be. I'm the only one who went to church yesterday because everybody's got the runny nose and stuffy sinuses and cough and gunk, and now my throat is starting to itch. I may not walk out unscathed.

But we shall carry on. Okay, guys. Pictures first? Or anecdotes and such? I choose anecdotes. The pictures are so cute that you won't stick around for boring words when you've seen them.

We were twenty minutes late to Katie's first day of preschool last week because she thought she would make a good first impression if she showed up wearing only her owl backpack.

Katie will now only eat sandwiches for lunch if I use a cookie cutter on them. We've had duckies, bunnies, ginger men, and cowboy boots. The ducky is her favorite.

Our kitchen is right above the garage, and when the garage door is opening or closing, it's loud. So last week, Katie was putting the silverware away while I emptied the rest of the dishwasher (she won't let me do the silverware anymore) when we heard the garage door open for Mike. Katie dropped what was in her hand into the drawer, flung her arms in the air, and bolted for the stairs down to the garage, screaming, "You do the silverware! Daddy's home!"

Remember the whole potty-training thing? Well, it's going rather well. But every night we spend a lot of time in the bathroom while Katie stalls bedtime by claiming she needs to poop. And when I get frustrated, I start saying, "Are you going to make a poopie? Or should we go back to your bed?" And last Thursday she responded with, "I am making a poopie. This big, like a coconut."

The other day, Katie left her cereal on the table almost untouched. I said, "Katie, are you going to finish your breakfast?" "No, I don't want to eat my breakfast! I'm hibernating!"

"I am a Child of God" is Katie's bed time song, and I've had to sing it rather a lot the last couple of weeks because she has refused to go to sleep on her own. But last week she started saying, "No, don't sing that, sing it in Pork-a-cheese." (Mike went on his mission to Brazil.)

This is a big one. Want to know why? It officially inducts the boys into the sticky-note club. The other day, I stuck the boys on the floor (both with binkies in mouths) to play so I could grab laundry or something. I heard crying, so I turned back around, to see that Josh was crying, and Peter had Josh's binky in his mouth. Peter's binky was thoughtlessly cast aside. (And by cast aside I mean way across the room where Peter had launched it.)

I saw a really funny article the other day about horrific things about raising twins you never see in the movies. One thing he brought up was that other people will see your twins interacting and say, "aw, they're so cute! They want to go down the slide together!" And really, they're both trying to be the first one down the slide, and now they're stuck wedged in like that because they wouldn't let the other one go first. This is SO TRUE. It's really cute when my boys hold hands or reach for each other, but I'm fairly sure it's more like arm wrestling or threatening. (Grabbing each other's collar during feeding like, "Watch it, buddy. This is MY mommy.")

And for my last anecdote, Katie took a time when I was really frustrated at her and ready to just leave her in her room all day to say, "I will always be your Katie. I will always make you better." Darn it, child!

Okay, fine. Pictures.

First, our 5 months photo shoot.

Ya know, a typical family portrait for my children.

And then I let Katie take the camera. (With the neck strap on, obviously.)

She made me take my pony tail out for my picture. Hence the wild and crazy mane.

You're never going to believe this, but I'm actually not offended at the picture Katie took of me. It's okay, despite the wild and crazy mane.

Now, for other pictures from the last month and a half or so.

This giant crazy thundercloud outside our back window had so much lightning in it that it was like a strobe light. Seriously.

Katie learned how to eat popcorn with her toes.

Handsome dudes in their Sunday clothes.

Don't you love Petey's giggle face?

Interpretive dance for the neighbors.

Look! Joshy won the rolling over race!

Homemade pizza night--every Friday!

Mike testing out his new blood pressure cuff and stethoscope.

He was quite pleased at the result of his diaper blowout. Peter was jealous that he couldn't be naked.

And, that's our life. See? I totally did a photo shoot of the boys AND did a kind-of photo tour of our house. Sort of.

TTFN!

And . . . we're back!

Hey guys. Sorry it's been so long. We've had a cuh-raaaazy week. But I gave my talk in church yesterday and that was the last check mark on my list of large stressful things to do, so we're all good now.

To begin, I will now announce that next week is going to be a picture post. Because it's been forever since I've done any serious photography and I need to post some adorable pictures online. Maybe it will (finally) be a photo tour of my (potentially) clean and decorated new house. Maybe I'll do a 5-month photo shoot of the boys (because they look totally different than they did at 6 weeks). Or maybe I'll go totally nuts and do both. You never know.

But now, time for the sticky note. (Which I think is going to be a real sticky note again after this. The notebook is just too inconvenient.)

Katie: *Bonk* Oh no! Now my bone is brooken! (or occasionally braken)

Me: *Playing "When Can I See You Again" by Owl City*
Katie: Is this the song from the Felix movie?
Me: Yeah . . .
Katie: Oh! I totally love this song! *Hippie wiggles ensue*
 (Note: She hasn't seen Wreck-it Ralph in several months. But she remembered that this song is in the end credits. What?)

Katie: *pointing to her ankle* Look! I have a cute malleolus!

Me: Please bless the food . . .
Katie: No, Mom! You don't help big kids say their prayers. We already had a talk about this!

Katie: *pointing to various parts of her body* These are my middle bones, and these are my hard bones, and these are my malleoluses, and these are my poops!

Katie: *Lying flat on her stomach* I'm a dead bug.

Katie: When I was your age . . . or, when I was a baby, I was still in Mommy's tummy. When I came out, I was Jesus's friend now!

Yesterday, after church, we were "racing" to the kitchen to eat lunch (aka trying to get Katie to come upstairs from the garage) and then Mike pretended to eat "all the lunch" just to tease her. Then she said, "No, I'm going to eat all the lunch!" So she went into the corner and started eating the wall. So, naturally, she and Mike started pretending to be bats and chasing me around the house. When they cornered me, Mike suggested that they tickle me. Alas, Katie was already licking my skirt.

And finally, I think I have an OCD girl on my hands. This has happened several times over the last week. Katie walks into the family room, which has blankets, toys, burp clothes, and stories on the floor, and then she throws her hands in the air and says exhasperatedly, "I just cleaned up this room! You ruined my family room!" She then proceeds to push all the blankets into the corner (she hasn't quite mastered folding), put all the books on the shelf, put the baby toys in their bucket, put the wipes on the shelf with the diapers, and push all the burpies into a pile under the swing. She even puts movies back where they go and puts her toys next to the stairs to go back up to her room.

She's two and a half. This is the best day of my life.

In other news, Katie is on her way to being totally potty trained. For the last month or so, she's been in big girl underwear all day and a pull-up at night (she's still not good at it and I'm just not into doing her sheets every single night). And she's been doing really well. But for the whole month, she would NOT poop in the potty. She would hold it all day and then wait for her pull-up. I even tried holding chocolate in front of her face, but it didn't work. So, naturally, we turned to My Little Pony.

Last week, finally, she did it! And she got a little Pinkie Pie (I know in my previous post I said Rainbow Dash, but she changed her mind when we got to the store.) But here's the next step. I only let her get a little bitty one. She wants a big one. The big one is waiting for a whole week without having an accident. And you know what? She went three days. (Yeah, so she had an accident this afternoon. But she's working on it.) She knows she wants seven green check marks on my calendar. We're almost there!

Also, she is starting preschool this week. (AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! MY BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!) But it's going to be totally cool. We're doing it with three other kids from her nursery who are almost the same age as her (I think they're all within a couple of months). And it's going to be AWESOME.

Um, I think I need to go make sure those noises from the family room are ticklish giggles and not the sounds of being strangled by an older sister. See you next week! (And maybe you'll see me!)

Don't Use the Word Fat!

I had a tough realization the other day. (So put your serious faces on, but don't worry. There will be funny things later.) Have you seen my Katie? She's tall and skinny like her dad--mostly legs. If she keeps these proportions she could be a supermodel. She's even got the eyelashes for it. Not to brag or anything, but this girl's got magic genes. (Which she got from her dad.)

But the other day she put on a pull-up before nap time (oh, and we're potty training. It's so much fun. Not.) and then pulled her pants over them, looked in the mirror, and said, "Now I look fat in my bummy."

Oh sweet mercy.

I realized that my uncontrollable self esteem problems are affecting my daughter. She has heard me refer to myself as fat and thought to use that word to describe herself. And she's two.

I have never found it easy to think positively about myself. And I've only recently started being open about my depression issues and such. Do you want to know why? (Why I'm being open about them, not why I wasn't before.) Because it's affecting my family. When I am not happy, none of my children are happy. When I think bad things about myself, my daughter starts saying she looks fat in her bummy.

I know what you're thinking. "Yes, diapers do make your bum larger. She's just probably thinking that it looks bigger." And you're right. The thing that makes me upset is that she knows the word fat. Because of me. And it needs to stop.

Okay, you can take off your serious faces now and I'll tell you the funny things from my notebook. Which is WAY less convenient than a sticky note, because it's also my important things notebook and I usually have it open to a different page so I forget to write down ridiculous things that my daughter says.

First of all, this house has been hit by a My Little Pony craze. Mike saw it on Netflix one Saturday morning while they were letting me sleep in with the boys (Hallelujah!) and randomly decided to try it so they could take a break from Curious George (which has been Katie's favorite morning cartoon for . . . forever). And apparently now we're hooked. It has become a bonding thing. In fact, we're using it to potty train! Katie's already filled up her sticker chart and now all she has to do is poop in the potty and we get to find a Rainbow Dash. Yeah, we're cool parents.

Here's an example. We're Skyping my mom, and Katie is telling her how much she loves Rainbow Dash, and my mom starts grilling me. (It's practically Christmas, after all.) So I tell her Katie likes Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle (are you getting an idea of what kind of show this is?) but she's not really that into Fluttershy. And then Mike pipes in from the kitchen, "That's because Fluttershy is lame!" Yes, this is my big, strong, manly husband.

Another thing that has made me giggle recently is the way Katie tells stories these days. She's two and a half, right? Well, she's got a pretty impressive memory for a kid her size. She remembers things from, like, a year ago. And they're usually things we haven't mentioned recently. But still, she's only got 2 1/2 years of experience under her belt, probably 1 1/2 tops in her memory (and that's pushing it).

But every time she tells us a story, whether it's from yesterday or last winter or it's totally made up, she begins with either, "When I was a young girl" or "When I was a little kid." What? For example, the other day she sees me popping this weird zit I got on my hand from all my dry skin (and don't worry, it's not a staph infection--it's not painful or coming back). And she puts on her serious face and says, "When I was a young girl, I got rid of my zit."

She seems obsessed recently with stages of life. Besides talking about when she was a young girl, she also tells me all the time about what she's going to do when she's a grown-up. (i.e. go to the potty without a stool or her sesame street potty seat).  But so far my favorite has been, "When I'm a naked grown-up, I'll have all my bones and they won't be growing!"

Okay, one more Katie quote. Today during nap time, I fell asleep with the boys. I wake up to Katie patting my arm, and she tells me, "It's okay, Mom. I'm protecting you from the bad guys. See this big house? And there are no bad guys? I scared away all the bad guys." I feel so safe now.

Now we will finish with an important announcement: The boys are rolling! So, Peter's been teasing us for a few weeks, flipping his legs and hips over but not being able to get his big 'ole head to flip. So I totally thought he'd go first. But, no. Last Friday afternoon I laid them on a blanket, went to check on the laundry, and when I got back, Josh was on his stomach. And laying in a puddle of puke, but that's a different story. Yay Josh!

Later that same day, I laid them on a blanket so I could make dinner (or something). Not to be outdone, Peter rolled onto his stomach. And back. And on his stomach. And back again. And now he can roll everywhere like a log. They're pretty proud of their new skills. Unfortunately, though, while Peter can just flip around and be however he wants, Josh can only go back to front. And he can't control the urge to do it. And then he gets stuck there until his back gets tired or I notice that he's angry. And if I'm in the bathroom or otherwise unable to get to him, he yells for a bit, then gives up and just lies flat on the ground. It's really pitiful and pathetic and adorable at the same time.

The result of all this is that I never know where or in what position I'll find them in if I have to leave them alone on the floor for a second. They've been able to rotate around like little clock hands for a while, and Josh has been perfecting his manly leg muscles by rocketing himself backward across the floor until he bonks his head on the wall, but now they can roll. So there has been a lot of Peter sucking on Josh's toes or Josh kneeing Peter in the kidney or one of them chewing on the other one's ear. (Oh, and they've gotten really into ear-pulling recently. Weird.) And if one of them wants to roll, but there's a brother in the way, he'll just roll anyway and squish aforementioned brother. And then they'll both be uncomfortable and screeching at each other (yes, at each other) until I separate them.

I think I can see my future. Pray for me.

But when they're not somehow pummeling each other, they're totally interacting. This morning when I heard them wake up from their nap and went into their room, they were turned toward each other in their crib and they were both laughing. Apparently I missed the joke.

Sticky-note Post

First order of business:

Second order of business:

The sticky-note. Which is actually a notebook now, because I really just don't know where my sticky-notes are.

Me: Hey Katie, what do you call a cat that drinks lemonade?
Katie: Cats don't drink lemonade, silly Mommy!

Katie: Can you put this book back together? It's importment!

When I was nursing the boys, I noticed that Katie had pulled her shirt up and was holding her baby doll to her chest.
Me: Katie, what are you doing?
Katie: I'm feeding a baby on my guts!

(While I was singing Phantom of the Opera in the kitchen, admittedly with an affected operatic soprano.)
Katie: *gasp!* What was that sound?
Mike: That was Mommy singing in the kitchen.
Katie: No, the one that was like a sheep. Baaaaah!

Katie: I always ride in my seat belt!
Me: That's right, because your seat belt keeps you safe.
Katie: Right! From lions, and tigers, and bears.

Third order of business:

We're trying something new. Because many of you have been attempting to comment and not being successful, I tried to look at my settings. And the settings on blogger are lying to me. So we're going to try the moderation option, where comments come to my email first and then I approve them. Not that I'm going to censor anybody, but it's just not working and maybe that might. We'll see.

Stay tuned for more ridiculous hilarity!

Why I should probably be more responsible than a second-grader

My mom said that to me today. She was expressing frustration that my little brother has taken two days to clean his room. Then there was an awkward pause, as I was lying on my own bed (hiding from the sleeping babies) looking around at the giant chaotic monster that is my bedroom, and which has been like that for the last . . . oh, forever. I guess technically I've only had that bedroom for 2 1/2 weeks, but I mostly just transplanted the mess from my last bedroom. I'm not proud of it.

What I am proud of is my level of motivation. I'm totally writing a book. But you don't get to read it. So don't ask. Maybe someday.

I'm also proud of my ability to go out in public with my children by myself. We go on walks regularly (also because we have walking paths and ponds and stuff next to our house and who can resist baby ducks?) Also, last week I took them all to the grocery store, entirely by myself. And I learned some things.

Here are some things that I love:

-My children

-When I have happy, content, non-whiny children

-When people admire my happy, content, non-whiny, adorable children

-When people admire me for having such happy, content, non-whiny, adorable children

These things all happened at the grocery store last week, which proves to me that prayer works. (Seriously, I was geared up for the worst taking all three of them.) But there's something else that happened that I don't love: when we were walking up to the store, with one baby strapped to my chest, another in his carseat in the main basket of the cart, and Katie sitting in the child seat of the cart, and another lady walked out of the store. She saw us, raised her eyebrows, and said, "Wow. Just, wow."

But you know what? I think I do love it. Because all those people who raise their eyebrows at me when they see all my babies are really just jealous. They don't have a kid running laps around them while we go for a walk, then suddenly stopping just to hug them around the knees and say, "You're the best, mom!" They don't have the most adorable twins that have ever existed, and who giggle and grin and start doing windmill arms whenever you get within eyesight.

I definitely have it good. I have beautiful, intelligent, healthy children, my husband is going to be a doctor, and we have a really amazing ward and place to live while we raise these children and turn Mike into a doctor. And someday we're going to have a yard. But for now, I'm okay with having the neighborhood take care of the grass and such. Really, it's okay with me.

Okay, enough emotions.

You know what I've noticed? I have a very strong affinity for Dunkin' Donuts. Mike and my mom have both commented that Dunkin' really isn't that spectacular. There are other donuts which are equally as good. But my dad has instilled in me this strong desire for Boston Creams and Chocolate Honey-Glazed donuts which can never be abated. And I really think it has something to do with how far away and unavailable they've been my whole life. Also because they're more dense and delicious than, say, Krispy Kremes, which are mostly just air with sugar poured on top. (Really, I've never understood why those are so popular.)

Also, I am not doing so hot with the whole exercise-and-eat-healthy-to-lose-weight thing. I think the whole nursing-twins thing is covering my behind, but as soon as these boys are weaned? Oh boy. I'm going to be a balloon. That whole self esteem boost that I had right after the twins were born is starting to wane and I think I need to get more serious about this whole working out thing. Any ideas? Katie is pretty good at encouraging me, but she gets rather easily distracted.

I had more thoughts, but I don't remember what they were. Also, Josh is starting to wake up, which means I should go feed him and make dinner. Because I'm all domestic now and actually make real dinner all the time, which I haven't done in like . . . a year? At least.

Tootles!

Ready to Learn, to Get Some Knowledge!

Mike just called me after finishing his second day of classes.  (Not that he's coming home yet, because studying on campus is definitely the place to be.) Do you know how weird that is? My husband is a med student.

And because he was starting school yesterday, I decided there were some traditions we needed to uphold.

Katie was supposed to be smiling, but there was a bug on the step.

Yeah, I know. We're the coolest people ever. (And I did NOT eat the rest of the blue frosting that was in the piping bag. It was obviously an elf or something . . .)

The only thing I'm going to say that's negative is that Peter cut his first tooth yesterday. Great for him, pretty uncomfortable for me. And he and Josh are both drooling like maniacs.

But for the rest of this post, we're going to be talking about the road trip we took to get here (and quite a substantial road trip it was).

In fact, I'm not really going to talk. Except for captions.

Oh wait! Story first. Remember this post back in February, when I had a double baby shower with my friend Valerie, who was expecting twin girls? Well . . . we may have set our kids up on a date.

Josh, Jemma, Peter, Gia

When we first put them all on the blanket, Josh was totally asleep, so Jemma tried to go for Peter instead. Unfortunately, Gia was already chewing on him. And Peter was totally lovin' it. ("Yeah, girls! Right on!")

We decided the date should be over when Gia started getting fresh and grabbing Peter's knee.

Okay, now for road trip pictures.

I meant to take a picture of every state sign we passed, but . . . it was always nighttime or a raging thunderstorm. But here's when we left Idaho!

"Look at me! I'm gonna go touch the butte!" -- Sarah, my very wise and mature sister

We did not plan this at a random stop in Wyoming.

"Mom! I saw a giant naked head at the pharmacy!" -- Katie

Katie cared more about dirt than lunch.

Peter has been gaining weight recently.

It's in Nebraska, in case you need a cool place to go.

In case you need one.

This is apparently the Iowa border. I didn't see any real signs . . .

I found Hobbiton. It's in Iowa.

This is really what our trip looked like. Millions of these things. (Also, this picture is not edited. Muahaha.)

This was a big deal.

Everyone did their part!

A ceremonial picture of the last box to leave the truck . . .

A trip to the city was mostly sitting in traffic and getting lost, but still cool. 

This is the whole reason Sarah came to Chicago.

That last picture requires more than a caption. See, I had an appointment set for Thursday night to turn our gas meter on. When we knew we weren't going to be there until Friday, I called the gas company, but their next available appointment was for Monday morning. So for church on Sunday, most of us got cold showers (and boy was I awake!) Katie, however, got a sink tubby full of microwaved water (I also have a gas stove). Fairly sure she was the only one who enjoyed her bathing experience.

Well, so far we love it here. We have an awesome ward, we have already had a playdate (with a Katie-aged girl and her little twin siblings!), and we have directions to weekly "park day" with the other moms and little kids in the ward. I think we're going to have fun here.