Day Eleven: 4 Degrees of AWESOME MAMA!

I am awesome. And that has nothing to do with the fact that February is International Boost Your Self-esteem Month. It's just because I'm awesome.

Note: I don't like bragging, but I really have to tell you this. It's been a VERY long time since I've felt this relaxed and happy. Here goes.

#1 - I am now a professional online blogger. I write for Suite101.com and Examiner.com. And I have published articles (!!!!!!). This is a big deal for me. Want to see my first two articles? (I wrote them this week! I'm so awesome!)

Jealous of Daddy: When Baby Prefers One Parent Over Another

Spread the love: getting your kids involved for Valentine's Day

Now, keep in mind that they're still kind of freelance things, and until I've written a few hundred articles, I'll be getting, like, 3 cents a month. If I'm lucky. But still! That counts as income, right? And it's residual income, meaning that they'll keep paying me ten years later if people still click on them. Sweet, huh? I hope I get the motivation to be a prolific writer one of these days.

Note: for Suite101, I can write whatever I want. Seriously. But for Examiner, I am the Boise Child Care examiner, which means I need to write about child care and about specifically Boise-ish things. So if you have any ideas about what you think I should write about, please let me know. I only have so many ideas.

#2 - I am still on my diet thing. Which I never would have believed of myself. Last Saturday (at my official weigh-in, which involves witnesses) I was down four pounds. I got to color them in on my weight loss thermometer OF SCIENCE! (You guys didn't think it was real, did you?)

I don't have my weigh-in until tomorrow, but I secretly weighed myself before breakfast yesterday, and I suspect I might get to color in three more! (Don't tell anybody just in case I don't.)

More than that, I feel good. Eating better and working out has already made me feel all healthy and I already think I look better. It's amazing. I realize it's only a couple pounds, but still. I'm on my way. I could actually do this!

#3 - My house is clean. Tomorrow we're going on a short trip and I HATE coming back to a dirty house. So today I finished the ironing, cleaned my room and Katie's, vacuumed the upstairs, ran the dishwasher, and tidied the downstairs. I even filed the pile of documents that's been spread across my dining room table for a week or something. It's amazing.

#4 - I have developed an immunity to tantrums. A couple months ago (or even last month) I would have freaked out if Katie started tantruming, and probably ended up in tears myself. Fortunately, however, I am a hardened mommy now. Unfortunately for her, however.

For example: today while I finished the ironing, Katie was just playing on the floor. A few minutes later, she started going after the already ironed shirts (which I had thought were out of her reach). She, unfortunately, is built tall and skinny like her daddy and reached them. I told her no a couple of times to see if it would work, then grabbed her and took her away from the shirts. She expressed her outrage, then went back after them.

At this point, I put her in timeout. In this case, I stuck her in her high chair (I don't have very many Katie-proof timeout spots). She was quite furious. And began to throw one of her most outrageous tantrums. I just blithely went on ironing and put everything upstairs. (She was in timeout for like a minute and a half.) I think we're better for it, don't you?

Speaking of little tantrum-pants, her new favorite snack is peanut butter and jelly. It's amazing how far she can spread one piece of bread with a bit of peanut butter and a spoonful of jelly. It's amazing.

She has also begun saying "whuzat?" over and over and over and over and over again all day long. I hope she's ingesting all the definitions I give her.

In other news, her ponytail is still only three strands of hair. She has three tufts of hair that could be long enough for a pony, but they're all on different parts of her head. What the bananas? The rest is all still just poofy. I wonder if she'll ever be able to wear a braid in her life . . .

Be excellent to each other! I might remember to put a video up next time of the sequel to "What does a cow say?" Just maybe.

Day One: Quick! Look like you're being productive!

Last night I turned over a new leaf.

Yesterday, I went to the doctor. Don't be alarmed, it was a normal exam. They took my blood pressure, went over my (quite extensive) family medical history, poked and prodded me, and told me I was fat. Which is something I know very well, in fact. (And don't listen to Mike, he thinks I was putting words in their mouths. But really? The doctor is the only person who can tell you you're fat and you listen. This particular one just wasn't very tactful.)

So? I've decided to yank that leaf out of the book and start over (forget that 'turning over' business. That was just for your attention).

And thus? Brittany's Weight Loss Thermometer OF SCIENCE! was born! (Yay!)

It measures my number of pounds less than my starting weight I am. And don't ask me what my starting weight is. Because I won't tell you.

And do you know what my new regimen is? NOT SNACKING. Snacking is my downfall. I love to just munch. It's awful. So, I'm going to do other things, like pilates and quilting. Yes, I know those two are unrelated. The point is that I'm going to stay busy so I don't think about snacking. And some of it will be physical activity to (finally!) get rid of my post-baby belly.

Besides doing some actual exercise (who knew?) I am now limited to eating like Katie. Yes, the kid is like a black hole for anything that's a food. But everything she eats is healthy. Remember that picture from her birthday where she wanted to leave the chocolate cupcake alone and go play? That's it.

So I'm going to have more veggies and yogurt and less of . . . that other stuff that I really wish I could be eating right now. You know, the kind with lots of sugar and butter and salt and delicious carbs and fat? Mmmmmm . . .

And it actually does help that everything that is edible (and a significant number of things that are not) is called "apple" by Katie. (Kind of like how every animal she isn't sure about says "Moo," including but not limited to cows, sheep, goats, cats, some birds, lizards, fish, Mommy . . . )

What does a cow say?

This is the cutest thing you will ever see. Ever. Well, only if she refuses to do anything on camera for the rest of her life.

Before you watch: my dear father does this trick where he grabs his neck skin and shakes it so that he can make a rather realistic turkey noise. It's very impressive. Just so you don't get confused.

Misery and Despair, People Dying Everywhere!

Yes, I've reverted to my old ways of using song lyrics as titles, but just this once. And do you know why? Because . . .

TUM TA TA TUUUUUUM!

It was the Katie's birthday!

(Disclaimer: This picture is not actually from her actual birthday. It's just super cute.)

If you don't know what the title of my blog post has to do with her birthday, I will tell you: it is part of the death march birthday song. Maybe I'll sing it for you if you come to my house.

One year ago today, it was my first full day home from the hospital,Mike had gone back to work and class, and my mom was laughing at me because I kept breaking down in tears, thinking I had "broken" my little pink squishy thing because she wasn't pooping frequently enough. Oh, silly last year Brittany. What were you thinking?

Katie, Circa 1/2011

It has been quite a year. For one thing, I'm no longer a full-time student, which was my occupation for the last 17 years. That's like retirement for some careers. Holy cow. Now I'm a stay-at-home Mommy, which is the best thing in the world.

For another, I do a lot more laundry.

Papa Bear, Mama Bear, and Wee Little Baby Bear!

So this post will consist of Katie's antics for the last two months in tribute of our year together (and also a very convenient way to show you a synopsis of Christmas and her birthday).

Ignoring her loot for Christmas . . . typical.

With Auntie Nonny before she went off to college *sniff sniff*

Her favorite food is spaghetti. Girl after my own heart!

Her favorite pastime: taking off her pants.

Now that Mommy doesn't nurse anymore, the nursing cover has become stylish superhero-wear.

Dinner on her birthday

Anecdote: for Katie's birthday dinner, she got tortellini with spaghetti sauce, and peas and carrots, which are some of her favorite foods. We put a little plate on her tray for her to dig in, but she took us a little too literally. She kept cramming things into her mouth until there wasn't room for her jaw to move to chew it up and she started gagging. We had to swab her and ration her noodles from then on (much to her chagrin).

Action shot! Dancing to her singing puppy from Grandma Megan

Enjoying her loot, and also THE CUPCAKE HAT! Curtesy of Grandma Cindy.

Powdered sugar snowmen

Dipped chocolate penguins (the snowmen were a result of a lack of my patience with dipping)

Enjoying her loot some more!

Diggin' in! She may have re-dipped her donut in the icing after she licked all the chocolate off.

"But I'm done with the chocolate, Mommy! I wanna go play trains again!" Sigh . . .

The day after her birthday - going to church as a little fluffly flower girl!

The cupcake spacewoman in all her glory!

Well, didn't I promise you that I was going to put a bunch of pictures up? I am surely a woman of my word. Now I need to go stuff some more food into that kid's mouth. For all she eats so much it's amazing she's so skinny! She eats as much spaghetti as James! (Please note: James is to spaghetti as Mike is to pizza. He could eat an entire package of spaghetti in one sitting, three meals a day, seven days a week. And Katie has taken to eating like that.)

I might put up some videos next time. You never know.

I owe all of you an explanation.

Because it's quite unforgivable, what I've been doing. But there have been several rather large events relating to our state of having internet. Here goes.

First, we discovered that we were being swindled by CableOne. Yeah, I'm posting that on my blog, you company. I'm telling my friends how awful you are. Want to know why they're awful? Because we had absolutely no knowledge of our being only allowed 1GB of data a month until we received a notification that we were being charged extra for going over our data. RUDE. We cancelled their service immediately.

But first, we used the last day of service to research new internet. We discovered a new one, (and read ALL the fine print) but then, when we looked at our bank account, found out that My IDENTITY WAS STOLEN! HIDE YOUR DEBIT AND CREDIT CARDS! LOCK UP YOUR CHILDREN! DON'T LET THEM FIND YOU!

Yeah, I may have freaked out just a little. Anyhow, we reported it, and while we've been waiting for the bank to help us clear things up, we've been without internet. So I haven't blogged. Right now I'm using my parents' internet because I came up to their house to use their car to go to the dentist. My cheek is practically sagging off of my face with numbness. But not as much as Mike's did last fall, though. They even remembered him for the magnitude of dental work he had done in October. Wow.

I hereby declare that my next blog post will have LOTS of cute pictures on it. So you should probably check this thing once or twice a day starting next week, and definitely comment a couple of times. Just in case, you know?

Merry Christmas, Happy Anniversity!

Well, I hope you all survived and didn't die of majorly gluttonous decisions like I almost did. It was quite the delicious holiday this year. Except that a couple of sad things happened. I'll get those out of the way first.

First, as I was attempting to fix the settings on my wee little camera, I accidentally wiped my memory card. Like, I lost all the pictures from the first day of our trip. Sad . . .

And I don't know if I saved all the pictures from the rest of December because of the second bit of sad news, which is that my computer is dying. I'm currently writing on Mike's computer. My computer is dying slow, sad, painful death, and I don't want to turn it on again until I have a hard drive or something to save all my music and pictures on just in case the thing dies suddenly in the night. *Sniff sniff*

So, electronically I've been having some grief. Literally, like mourning a death. But other that that I had a good time! We totally needed to get out of town, and it was amazing getting to spend time with Mike's whole family, even if there were 13 to the table.

We flew to Seattle Friday night before Christmas and Katie DEFINITELY loved it. She was busy the whole time trying to mess with the trays, looking out the window, and flirting with Uncle Brett behind us. It was ridiculous. Then she fell asleep as soon as we stuck her in her car seat to drive home from the airport, and didn't wake up until 7:30 the next morning.

We had a really good time not really doing anything all weekend and just playing games and relaxing and eating sugary things the neighbors dropped off. It was awesome. And it ended exactly how vacations are supposed to end: by not wanting to go home. But we did Monday night. And I can't really complain because the reason we didn't get a whole week of vacation is that Mike has a job and can support our family again. Sigh . . .

But we had a good time. We took family pictures, had a lovely relaxing Sunday morning Christmas, and played a lot of board games and word games. Also, Katie and her cousins are SO cute together. I can't even stand it.

Then, on Tuesday, we had our 3rd anniversary. Can you believe it? I can't. It's weird. We're practically OLDY WEDS. Ew. But we went to Olive Garden and actually ordered dessert and it was really fun. And Katie got to hang with her aunties and uncles. Not the Washington ones, though, because we were already home because Mike had to work. Sigh . . .

And that's about it. I'm not feeling particularly funny today. Oh! Yesterday afternoon after my eyeball appointment, my mom and I ran to the grocery store. When we went into the store, it was bright and sunshiny and I was having a hard time because my eyes were still really dilated. But when we came out, the sun was off in the distance and there was a storm front coming toward us of almost cartoon proportions! (I'm not kidding. The thing totally had a growly face on it.) It was coming faster than an airplane would and we had to run to our car so we wouldn't get hit by lightning. Other unsuspecting Albertson's customers were becoming casualties right and left! (yeah, I'm just kidding. I've probably been reading too much Calvin and Hobbes.)

Anyhow, we dashed home through pelting hail that was piling up in the gutters and almost looked like a foot of snow except it was snow that hurts. And you know what? By the time we got the groceries out of the car, it was just a light rain and the storm part had passed. Holy cow, can you say brush with death?

And now it's all sunshiny outside. Happy New Year!

Big news. BIG news.

No, I'm not pregnant. How dare you for thinking that anyhow? Geez . . .

Actually, we moved. (!!!!!) Yes, quite. To a cute little slice of house (i.e., townhouse) of which I have not taken any pictures yet except for those of Katie's eating utensil adventures. And those pretty much only show the high chair and some radiant light from my enormous sliding-glass door of a kitchen window. Muahaha. (I'll probably be convinced by my conscience that I need to post said utensil pictures, so they'll probably be at the end of this post. If I feel guilty enough.)

I do owe all of you an apology for neglecting my blog for the last several weeks, but I have not had internet in my new place until today. So, terribly sorry, dear friends. Because I know you've all been drooling over your computers for the last few weeks every day hoping to see a new post, and then been terribly disappointed.

Anyways, so we moved in on Saturday the 3rd, and my life ever since has been wholly consumed with diaper rash and what the heck is causing it. Our conclusion? Our water had all kinds of gunk in it and we needed to buy a new Brita filter, and also Katie is MAJORLY allergic to Boudreaux's Butt Paste (my mom won't say that word. I heard her not say it to my dad and he laughed.) Like, it made her poor little bummy blister. What the heck? How could you be so cruel to children?

Aside from the blisters, though, the change to our own apartment has been amazing. Let me explain. The #1 reason we were so anxious to get out of my parents' basement was so that Katie could have her own bedroom and leave us the heck alone. I was tired of waking up every morning with a fat lip and a black eye, and I know Mike was tired of getting kicked out of bed every night at 4 am. Quite literally.

So, almost as soon as we got here, we determined to teach Katie to sleep in her own bed. Which means that we decided on a bedtime routine and put it into effect, and Katie put herself to sleep while Mike let me sob on his shoulder. Oh no! I mean, um, while I stalwartly made her deal with things . . . um . . . yeah, okay. I bawled the first three nights.

But now! She does cry a little when I make her let me brush her two teeth, but after her story and all seven (four in English and three in Portuguese) verses of "I am a Child of God," she even lets me tuck her in, sighs a little bit and is asleep before I even get downstairs. And guess when her bedtime is? 8 or 8:30 pm. And guess when she wakes up? 8:30 or 9 am. HALLELUJAH!!!!

And now a few pictures of the last few weeks to make up for my not having internet.

Yes, that is bacon. Maple bacon cupcakes. I made them for my bro Parker because . . . (drum roll please) . . . he's an Eagle Scout! Congrats, man!

Preface to the next couple pictures: The other day, I was feeding Katie some yogurt, and she was starting to get really bored of it, so I assumed she was full. I left her in her chair to talk to me while I was putting up Christmas decorations, but I also unthinkingly left the half-full thing of yogurt on her tray. I turned around after a couple of nativities and saw this:

Yay! Learning to use a utensil! I thought it was very cute and got all excited because she was actually trying to spoon yogurt into her mouth like I had done. So I let her continue and got out the camera, naturally. After a few minutes, however, it went from cute little spoonfuls to outright frenzy.

Is yogurt a good exfoliant? Maybe so. But she had a good amount of fun. And then it got even better because I had to strip her naked and give her a bath to get the yogurt out of her eyelashes and out of her armpits. And I'm not exaggerating. At all. Then she got to wear a cute new pink outfit while she waited at the window for Daddy to get home from work.

And well, I had to put these pictures up. We went back to my parents' for dinner and discovered that they had Christmas-ified their house now that they didn't have a 1-year-old living with them to knock everything over. But it's okay, because Katie matched. (Please pay attention to the tights. I want somebody to find them in adult sizes so I can get some for me.)

I'm kinda loving life right now. The only big problem with living here? I don't have a single cup of powdered sugar with which to make delicious cupcakes and frosting because I haven't gone grocery shopping since our initial stock-up. Horrible thought.