Hello, everyone. I'm sorry I'm the worst ever slacker-pants. I was recently alerted to the fact that I could lose my three readers if I don't write soon. GASP! Well, I'm back.
Sadly, I don't have my camera handy. BUT, I will next Monday. Next Monday you are guaranteed a new post. With pictures. Did you see that word I just used? I said guaranteed. That's a big deal for me.
But for this post, you will have to be contented with a series of anecdotes about how ridiculous my toddler is. Not that you didn't already know . . .
SOMETIME IN THE RECENT PAST--I was making dinner and Katie was just playing toys around my feet. At one point, she crawled between the legs of her high chair and sat down underneath it. When I looked around, she said, "Birdie cave! Tweet tweet! Tweet tweet!" I said, "you mean birdie cage?" She said, "No! Birdie cave!"
LAST TUESDAY--For those of you who have seen a version of The Pirates of Penzance (and if you haven't, you really need to. Yes it's a musical by Gilbert and Sullivan, but it's hilarious even if you're not into musicals. Even Mike loves it. And we have the movie with Kevin Kline, Rex Smith, George Rose, and (alas!) Linda Ronstadt, and Mike's taken me to a live performance of it. Recommended.) Anyways, since it's a long time since I started that last sentence, I'm just starting over. For those of you who have seen The Pirates of Penzance, remember the song in Act 1 where Frederic is singing to the "bevy of beautiful young maidens," and because the only woman he's seen since he was 8 was his middle-aged nursemaid, he doesn't know if they're really top product? "Oh is there not one maiden here whose homely face and bad complexion has caused all hope to disappear?"
Well, the other night when we were cleaning up after dinner, either Mike or I started singing this song because we like being ridiculous and imitating the silly voices and Elvis impersonations and stuff. When we got to the part where the girls start yelling back "Alas! There's NOT one maiden here!" I began singing it in my most annoying voice, accompanied by the furious fanning that they do in the movie version because they've been reduced to tears.
You know what Katie says? "Calm down, Mommy! No freaking out!"
Mike and I had to sit down for a moment until we could stop convulsing with laughter.
SATURDAY--As you can probably guess, Mike and Katie finished getting ready in the morning before I did. So they were downstairs, playing in the family room, reading stories and whatever, and I was upstairs in the bathroom putting on my makeup. During this process, I knocked something off the counter. And because the things on the counter could be made of glass and even if they're not they echo like crazy people, I yelled "aaaah!" Well, immediately, Katie ran to the bottom of the stairs and yelled up, "What's a matter, Mommy?" I responded "Nothing's the matter. I'm okay." So she says, "that's okay, Mommy? That's okay?" I say "yep." So she mutters "that's okay," and goes back to her stories.
SUNDAY--In the evening we went to an Eagle Court of Honor for one of Mike's scouts, and they were playing a little movie about what the Eagle Scout award means. Of course, with a movie going and the lights off, they attracted Katie's attention, so she was standing on Mike's lap to see over the people in front of us. At one point it had a picture of a bald eagle show up (just its head and shoulders) and Katie got really excited. "Look, a penguin!"
The missionary crouching next to our row of chairs almost fell over he was laughing so hard.
TODAY--We went out to my grandparents' farm to pick raspberries and tomatoes. The way I kept Katie where I could see her was by letting her hold my bucket while I picked grape tomatoes. Well, I'd pick a handful, and hand them to Katie, saying, "okay, put these in your bucket!" Pretty sure 1 out of 5 ever made it to the bucket. Same with when she was helping with raspberries.
TODAY AGAIN--Partway through the morning, Katie and I went with Papa to go collect eggs from the chicken coop. Well, Katie's perfectly okay with chickens unless they get too close to her. So she follows Papa in after I chuck some food to get them out of the roost, and starts dancing around singing about eggs. When a chicken gets too close and she looks afraid, I push it away and say, "watch out, chickens." Soon enough, whenever a chicken gets too close for comfort, Katie flaps her arms like a crazy person, saying "Watch out, chickens! Watch out, chickens!" After a while, there were just too many for that to scare them and she got a little sad. But still, watch out, chickens!
AND AGAIN--After getting the eggs, we went to collect all the grandmas and Auntie Hannah for lunch. We made some sandwiches and all sat down around the table. After a couple minutes of gobbling down the individual pieces of her sandwich, (tomato first of course,) Katie looks over at me, slightly surprised. "Hey, Mommy! Whatcha doing' here?"
Good to know I'm really needed around here.
MANY TIMES RECENTLY--Katie has a little magic wand with a "twinkle star" at the end, and it's all glittery. Well, if you ever get too close when she's holding her magic wand, she'll come over to you, wave it furiously, and say, "1, 2, 3, Punkin!" And poof! You're a pumpkin. If you're lucky, she'll giggle for a second, then say, "1, 2, 3, Mommy!" And turn you back into Mommy. Unless you're somebody else. Then hopefully she doesn't turn you into Mommy.
She also loves to wear sparkly "barina" skirts over all of her outfits. And if it's not a "barina" skirt, it's her owl hat. Or sunglasses all day long. Or a sparkly hot pink headband. Really, I don't know where she gets it from.
Well, that's all I can think of right now. Let it be known that my daughter has way too much imagination for anyone's good. And I will renew my promise: Monday, you will have a new post. With pictures. Maybe even one of me! (But only if you promise not to tease me or anything.) Bye!
