Top Reasons Why I am the Worst Ever at Returning Phone Calls

If you give a boy a peanut butter sandwich, he'll want a sippy full of milk to go with it. Because, as Mike says, "Josh thinks that water is what poor kids drink when they can't afford milk."

Welcome to my life.

Some of you may have noticed that I haven't blogged in a couple of weeks (at least not for reals). Well, I have a few things that have kept me from me leisure time.

Reason #1:

Yes, this is Peter. And he wasn't trying to get out--he was trying to get his fourth limb in.

 Reason #2:

Josh at lunch.

Reason #3:

. . . Just Katie

Want to hear something terrifying? Preschool has started. We're already in week two. Granted, I love the few hours every Tuesday and Thursday when it's not my turn to teach that the boys aren't being shown a new way to get into mischief by their sister. But what I mean is, it's September. It's going to be down in the low 60s on Friday. Remember that one time when last winter it was in the negative 40s a few times? I know, it's not usually like that, but still. I need to get my outdoor time in for sanity's sake!

But on the flip side, she was really cute in her first day of school pictures.

Yeah, she's a big kid now. Actually, as she says it, "Mom, I'm going to miss you when I go to preschool. And I'm going to miss you when I go to big kid class after Christmas [meaning sunbeams at church]. And then I'm going to learn how to drive a car all by myself, and you'll sit in the back with the brothers, and Dad will ride next to me."

Keep dreaming, kid.

You know who else is a big kid now? I mean, he's always been big, but Josh has FINALLY STARTED WALKING. See, Peter started walking just before his 1st birthday, so he's been running circles around his brother for the last five months. And I swear, Josh has only been refusing to walk to spite me. It's not like he got his stubbornness and tenacity from ME! *Intense eyebrows at Mike*

Anyhow, he's walking now. HALLELUJAH!

I know what you're thinking. "Brittany, are you nuts? If he's walking, it means he can get into more trouble! How are you going to keep up?!?!" Let me tell you.

A: He was a ridiculously fast crawler and walking has only slowed him down so far.

B: Ability to climb ridiculously dangerous objects and laugh maniacally while doing so is completely irrelevant to ability to walk. He's been doing that for months.

C: DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT KID WEIGHS? (Spoiler alert: he's closer to Katie than to Peter.) I'm so worn out of having to lug that giant monster baby everywhere that I didn't want him crawling around! HE'S A TANK!

D: Also, he's really cute walking around, 'cause he still walks like a new walker, which I think is adorable. Peter's long been finished with the whole "toddling" thing. Pete struts like the world is his catwalk.

Joshy the very solid, newly independent boy

So yeah. It's a relief. We can actually go places (like the park) without my having to haul him around. Now I just set them all loose and they run around to whatever they want to climb. I only have to get up from my bench if there are dubious strangers around (and I know most of the kids from our neighborhood now, so I don't usually have to worry) or if somebody is bleeding more than usual. So I don't really have to get up much.

They spent the entire time we were there yesterday trying to climb up the wrong end of the slide. Together. At the same time.

Yeah, I'm not exactly one of those "helicopter mom" types.

Just sittin' in the blocks . . . reading a story . . .

I don't really have any news about Peter getting bigger . . . because he's really not. He's really smart, and starting to talk a lot, but he's not physically getting bigger. Sorry, folks. But here are some classic Peter quotes to make your work week:

"goidygoidygoidygoidygoidygoidy!" (while trying to tickle my armpits)

"Oh. Hi."

"Mama! Joshy zizzergadoidygo!" (usually to tattle)

"BALL!"

Oh, the infinite wisdom of Peter. I might need to needlepoint some of those.

They seem to have an apple addiction.

Oh! I remember something else that's new. Remember that one time how Katie's father is really tall? Well, so also is Katie. And she has been in a toddler bed ever since a couple of months before the boys were born. But . . . no more.

Complete with Anna and Elsa sheets

She has now discovered that hiding under the bed is the coolest thing since Kitchenaid mixers. And if you lose her, guaranteed that is where she will be. (If it's Josh, and you're at church, he's in the coat room. Just in case you're ever in that situation. Because I have been multiple times now.)

Adding the "flour mixture" to the "butter mixture"

The morning after her first night in her big girl bed, she came into my room to wake me up. After her usual attempts to get me out of bed to make her breakfast, ("No, aren't you tall enough to get your own juice yet?" "Two more minutes!") she noticed that my shirt had ridden up a little bit and started poking my belly.

Katie: Mom, what are these?
Me: Stretch marks. *yawn, stretch, grumble grumble*
Katie: What are stretch marks?
Me: When I was growing babies, my skin had to stretch out a lot and it made those red marks.
Katie: Oh . . .
Me: *snoregrumblemumblesnore*
Katie: Mom?
Me: What?

She made these all by herself from scratch . . . except for the eggs.

Katie: I think you should grow more babies. Because there should be more babies in this world. Also . . . I want a little sister. Oh! And in my bed, there's room for 5 or 6 or 7!
Me: . . .

No pressure or anything. Spoiler alert: I don't think she's going to get 7 little sisters.


 There. Now you've had a brief view of what kind of children are climbing all over me as I collapse on the floor in a state of absolute exhaustion instead of answering the phone. Except for sometimes, when they're at preschool, or napping . . . oh, sweet relief.

And you know, I'm not actually that upset about fall. Because I need me some sweaters to hide what this health challenge doesn't seem to be taking care of, if you know what I'm saying. Although, maybe I can get my legs slim enough to actually be able to wear boots . . .

 Or just sit on this amazing zebra-print pump chair we found while wandering.

You know you want one.