Post devoted entirely to Katie.

Because I was such a selfish mama last time and only wrote about myself. And let's face it, no one wants to hear about me. You're all just waiting for the sequel to "What does a cow say?" Admit it. (But in case you've read this far, here's my third article: Making friends for your toddler (and some for you too!).) (And stay tuned because I plan to write two more this week.)

But I'm no fool. I'm not just going to give you a video without any kind of payment. So you'll just have to keep reading. Buaha.

This morning, while I was not paying attention, Katie got a hold of my phone and proceeded to push buttons. It used to be that I could put it on camera and she would be stuck there because I have a tricky "back" button. That is no longer the case. I didn't even know she had my phone in this particular instance, so that wouldn't have mattered anyhow. The next thing I knew, someone was talking out of my phone. He hung up before I realized it and took the phone, but it seems that Katie just needed to talk to her grandpa. (I don't know what she told you, Jeff, but they're lies. All lies.) (Also, I would have said hello too if I'd known you were actually there.)

Anyhow, there goes my ability to use my cell phone as an entertainment device. She's gotten too smart for me.

In other news, the battle between Katie and I as to my proper title continues. This morning, she started pointing to me and saying "Mama! Mama!" completely unbidden. I got rather excited. ("Yay Katie! That's right! I'm Mama!") Then, it became apparent that she was not actually pointing to me, but to the bananas behind me. It seems I was slightly more successful in my campaign to teach her to call them "nanas." She then proceeded to continue calling me "Dada." I think I'm getting a complex.

Now for the statistics: according to the official bathroom scale (also featured in the Brittany's Weight Loss program) Katie still only weighs 17 1/2 lbs. She measures approx. 29" in height (note: measurement was taken in motion. I don't actually know how tall she is). She has 6 almost completely grown-out teeth and several large white bumps on her gums. She enjoys grapes, blueberries, and peanut butter and jelly, and would really like to enjoy things like chocolate and oranges but is not allowed (for various reasons including but not limited to her capacity for sugar hyperness and her tendency toward red fire-bottom). When I let her choose her own outfit she pulls out her lime green dress with white polka dots and a pink butterfly, and her zebra-gum-striped pants. Any questions?

Okay fine. You read through my post. Here's a video. (It doesn't really have animal sounds, but it's still pretty darn cute.)

[Note: there used to be an attempted video here. It didn't work. I can't get it to load properly, nor can I get it to load on an entirely new post. My sincerest apologies. I promise I'll figure it out and you will see some of Katie's antics. Or maybe call me and I'll give you a play-by-play of the video. Your choice.]

Day Eleven: 4 Degrees of AWESOME MAMA!

I am awesome. And that has nothing to do with the fact that February is International Boost Your Self-esteem Month. It's just because I'm awesome.

Note: I don't like bragging, but I really have to tell you this. It's been a VERY long time since I've felt this relaxed and happy. Here goes.

#1 - I am now a professional online blogger. I write for Suite101.com and Examiner.com. And I have published articles (!!!!!!). This is a big deal for me. Want to see my first two articles? (I wrote them this week! I'm so awesome!)

Jealous of Daddy: When Baby Prefers One Parent Over Another

Spread the love: getting your kids involved for Valentine's Day

Now, keep in mind that they're still kind of freelance things, and until I've written a few hundred articles, I'll be getting, like, 3 cents a month. If I'm lucky. But still! That counts as income, right? And it's residual income, meaning that they'll keep paying me ten years later if people still click on them. Sweet, huh? I hope I get the motivation to be a prolific writer one of these days.

Note: for Suite101, I can write whatever I want. Seriously. But for Examiner, I am the Boise Child Care examiner, which means I need to write about child care and about specifically Boise-ish things. So if you have any ideas about what you think I should write about, please let me know. I only have so many ideas.

#2 - I am still on my diet thing. Which I never would have believed of myself. Last Saturday (at my official weigh-in, which involves witnesses) I was down four pounds. I got to color them in on my weight loss thermometer OF SCIENCE! (You guys didn't think it was real, did you?)

I don't have my weigh-in until tomorrow, but I secretly weighed myself before breakfast yesterday, and I suspect I might get to color in three more! (Don't tell anybody just in case I don't.)

More than that, I feel good. Eating better and working out has already made me feel all healthy and I already think I look better. It's amazing. I realize it's only a couple pounds, but still. I'm on my way. I could actually do this!

#3 - My house is clean. Tomorrow we're going on a short trip and I HATE coming back to a dirty house. So today I finished the ironing, cleaned my room and Katie's, vacuumed the upstairs, ran the dishwasher, and tidied the downstairs. I even filed the pile of documents that's been spread across my dining room table for a week or something. It's amazing.

#4 - I have developed an immunity to tantrums. A couple months ago (or even last month) I would have freaked out if Katie started tantruming, and probably ended up in tears myself. Fortunately, however, I am a hardened mommy now. Unfortunately for her, however.

For example: today while I finished the ironing, Katie was just playing on the floor. A few minutes later, she started going after the already ironed shirts (which I had thought were out of her reach). She, unfortunately, is built tall and skinny like her daddy and reached them. I told her no a couple of times to see if it would work, then grabbed her and took her away from the shirts. She expressed her outrage, then went back after them.

At this point, I put her in timeout. In this case, I stuck her in her high chair (I don't have very many Katie-proof timeout spots). She was quite furious. And began to throw one of her most outrageous tantrums. I just blithely went on ironing and put everything upstairs. (She was in timeout for like a minute and a half.) I think we're better for it, don't you?

Speaking of little tantrum-pants, her new favorite snack is peanut butter and jelly. It's amazing how far she can spread one piece of bread with a bit of peanut butter and a spoonful of jelly. It's amazing.

She has also begun saying "whuzat?" over and over and over and over and over again all day long. I hope she's ingesting all the definitions I give her.

In other news, her ponytail is still only three strands of hair. She has three tufts of hair that could be long enough for a pony, but they're all on different parts of her head. What the bananas? The rest is all still just poofy. I wonder if she'll ever be able to wear a braid in her life . . .

Be excellent to each other! I might remember to put a video up next time of the sequel to "What does a cow say?" Just maybe.

Day One: Quick! Look like you're being productive!

Last night I turned over a new leaf.

Yesterday, I went to the doctor. Don't be alarmed, it was a normal exam. They took my blood pressure, went over my (quite extensive) family medical history, poked and prodded me, and told me I was fat. Which is something I know very well, in fact. (And don't listen to Mike, he thinks I was putting words in their mouths. But really? The doctor is the only person who can tell you you're fat and you listen. This particular one just wasn't very tactful.)

So? I've decided to yank that leaf out of the book and start over (forget that 'turning over' business. That was just for your attention).

And thus? Brittany's Weight Loss Thermometer OF SCIENCE! was born! (Yay!)

It measures my number of pounds less than my starting weight I am. And don't ask me what my starting weight is. Because I won't tell you.

And do you know what my new regimen is? NOT SNACKING. Snacking is my downfall. I love to just munch. It's awful. So, I'm going to do other things, like pilates and quilting. Yes, I know those two are unrelated. The point is that I'm going to stay busy so I don't think about snacking. And some of it will be physical activity to (finally!) get rid of my post-baby belly.

Besides doing some actual exercise (who knew?) I am now limited to eating like Katie. Yes, the kid is like a black hole for anything that's a food. But everything she eats is healthy. Remember that picture from her birthday where she wanted to leave the chocolate cupcake alone and go play? That's it.

So I'm going to have more veggies and yogurt and less of . . . that other stuff that I really wish I could be eating right now. You know, the kind with lots of sugar and butter and salt and delicious carbs and fat? Mmmmmm . . .

And it actually does help that everything that is edible (and a significant number of things that are not) is called "apple" by Katie. (Kind of like how every animal she isn't sure about says "Moo," including but not limited to cows, sheep, goats, cats, some birds, lizards, fish, Mommy . . . )