My Whirlwind Children are Growing Up Too Fast

Hey friends. How you been? I know, I've been all not writing on my blog and whatever. But I'm here to put up some cute pictures and tell you funny stories and hopefully not lose my entire audience. Don't stop reading my blog, Mom!

First things first: my hooligans are two! I'm not kidding.

Remember this?

They were such tiny little squirts. Little matching football-sized squishy bundles. And all they wanted to do was snuggle me and each other. And, you know, eat and poop.

Now they look like this.

And yes, sometimes they are spoiled.

I'm having just a little bit of a crisis about this. My babies!!!!!

They are such hooligans! It feels like they're constantly at each other's throats, but they're still super besties.

Ain't nothin' like a brother when you feel the need to snuggle.

Their affinity for lions and tigers is amazing.

They sure know how to get into shenanigans.

They definitely know how to deal with big sisters.

They sure do love to slide. And also watch tractors from the top of the slide.

They can make TRIPLE the mess as a team!

They sure can roll in style!

So in honor of their birthday, I'll do the catch-up of hilarious things they do backwards. Starting with my home-boy . . . PETER!!!

Yep. Chicks dig him.

Peter is such a little man now. And he has quite the opinion. A very strong one, if you're wondering. Also, see how cute and innocent his little face is? Well, those eyebrows can make you fear horrible murder. Luckily, he really likes me.

My favorite thing about Peter is the way he sort-of refers to himself in the third person. It's super funny. "Oh no! I dropped Petey's cup!" "I need Petey's socks." He's got subject pronouns, but not object ones. But he sure talks enough to get it figured out soon. He just gabs pretty much all the time. His other most common thing to do is to tattle on his brother. He puts on his most pitiful pouty face and then says "Joshy take Petey's applesauce." He even sticks his bottom lip out.

Also, I have discovered that Peter is his father's son. You know what Petey could eat for EVERY SINGLE MEAL for the rest of his life? Pizza. Boy LOVES pizza. Also sammiches. I asked him what he wanted for his birthday and he said, "Um, a sammich."

That is my favorite of their shirts. The hot dog is holding a sign that says, "Help me!"

But you know what Peter loves the most out of anything in the entire world? Basketball. Remember that one time how last month was this big basketball event? Well, on the rare occasion that Mike got to take a break from all of the crazy in his life, and got to turn on one of the games, Peter was immediately his BEST friend. Remember how he's 2? Usually that means he has NO attention span. This is not the case for basketball.

Thus, they got something awesome for their birthday. And it has taken over their lives.

See that? That's two boys in heaven.

To be fair, we've moved it into the kitchen, because they're not super good at it just yet. But Peter has been practicing. This boy can now shoot from a couple feet away and make it. It used to be the only thing either of them could do was dunk, on their tip toes. Peter is now intent on being the next Jimmer. Or John Stockton. Or other short white guys who got famous for basketball. I don't know who they are.

Josh, however, is way more into being a tiger. Or a puppy or a bear or a scary monster. Or a dinosaur. I think you get the picture. There is absolutely no sound like a 2-year-old growling in a deep, throaty, dinosaur voice, "More juice please!" I just about die every time.





Do you see this hooligan? He's (as you can probably guess) usually the most willing to get his picture taken. And he loves to take selfies. LOVES it. He'll come climb on my lap and grab my phone and say, "say cheese!"

Josh has officially entered the age of "No! By self!" He even insists on getting himself dressed, even if he wears his clothes entirely backwards all day (see the bottom center). He loves to climb everything, growl at everything, and get into everything. Especially their birthday cake. Top right was after I finished changing Petey one morning after their birthday and came in to find Joshy fist-deep and saying, "Look Mommy. Giant knife!" I did not realize he could get the cake carrier open to get to the knife. I am sadly naive. Don't even get me started about finding Mike's brown dress shoe in a filled tub.

My favorite thing that Joshy has said recently is actually my fault. See, the boys have figured out that when Mike gets in trouble, I call him Michael. And apparently my Chicago accent is getting stronger. Because the other night, Mike was tickling Josh, and Joshy managed to giggle out, "Stahp it, Michael!" Holy mackerel. Mike and I were rolling on the floor.

Unfortunately, despite my best efforts, Josh still manages to get into trouble and danger. I think the only way I could stop it was if I duck-taped him to the wall and spoon fed him applesauce. Last Friday, the boys were playing in my room while I got dressed, and started playing a game with my closet door. I heard a thunk and a scream and ran out of the bathroom to find that they had knocked Mike's pull-up bar out of the doorway (HOW?!?!?!!?!?!) and it had landed between Joshy's fingers, splitting his hand open pretty deeply.

Want to know how I've been extremely desensitized by motherhood and my medical husband? My immediate thought when I saw Joshy's hand oozing blood was "Oh, let's get you in the bathroom so you don't stain the carpet." Geez, Brittany. At least Joshy is a tough kid. I got him cleaned up and pressed a towel on his hand while I called people and finished getting dressed, and he was sitting on my bed watching Katie and Peter and saying, "Take tissue off! Go play!" Um, no.

So Mike came home from school and asked to take Joshy to the ER for me (seriously, it was like a kid saying, "Mom, can I PLEASE go to the zoo?"), and Katie and Peter and I went to Costco. When we met back home, Josh had two stitches between his fingers and Mike and I had the impossible task of getting Houdini Junior to leave his bandages on.

The kid is ridiculous. We tried just using bandage tape to hold his hand together, but he kept peeling it off and picking at his stitches. At first he wanted to get them off because he thought they were bugs. Now he just thinks they're super cool. Then I tried using an inordinate amount of bandage tape. That stayed on, but I caught him shoving pieces of sandwich and cereal down into his bandage. Now, he lives with a sock duck-taped to his sleeve. It has been quite effective, actually.

Oh, except for meal time, when I have to use more waterproof measures.

I'm actually kinda proud of his hair in this picture, too. Not that he cares at all.

So my boys have been two for a week and a half and we've already had our first ER visit. Yay. At least they had a super cool birthday. 

They're the coolest kids ever. Admit it. The week of their birthday, they even got to go to the zoo because it was the first really nice day this spring. Basically, I took them to a place that was more like their natural habitat. You know, the monkey house.

Peter wanted nothing to do with riding the lion.

Last, but not least, the princess. Want to see something crazy? Here's Katie a month ago.

She doesn't like being told to hold still.

Here is what happened right after this picture was taken.

To be fair, I trimmed her bangs before I remembered to take the "before".

Isn't she just the cutest?!?!?! Now that she's had her little bob for a month, I get weirded out by old pictures of her with long hair. The short hair is just so her. I just see a little blond Ramona Quimby, which I think is an exactly perfect way to think about Katie.

She has really embraced this grown-up new hairdo, as well. Right after this she decided we were going to get more serious about reading practice, and she decided that she was big enough to start . . . PIANO LESSONS!!!! (duh duh duuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhh!!!!!)

My motherly pride is overflowing right now.

So I got out some old lesson books my mom gave me and ordered her a new workbook, and we got started. She's got quarter notes down, and she can usually remember which fingers are which numbers, but we're still a little confused about where to put the fingers. But we'll get there. She is 4, after all. We had the missionaries over for dinner and she was trying to teach them how to clap half notes, and it was funny. I just listened and laughed.

I tell you, this girl is WAY too smart for her own good. And she's curious about EVERYTHING. She especially loves learning about anatomy and Mike's medical stuff. And she's fascinated by this baby. She was only 2 when the boys were born, after all.

Every night, when I'm tucking Katie in, we usually have very long discussions where she teaches me really bizarre songs she's made up (about a cowgirl who has stopped riding her horse and now the cows are waging battle against each other because they've been left alone too long) and then she asks me a whole bunch of questions about anything she can think of to stall me leaving and closing the door. 

The other night, baby came up, and Katie said, "When the baby is born, can I feed her yogurt?" (No, we do not know the gender yet. Katie just is absolutely confident it's a girl. "But mom, I already have two brothers!") Long story short, I ended up having to give Miss Curiosity a lesson in how breastfeeding works. And she LOVED it. Then she was fascinated by the idea that when she grows up and gets married, she could grow a baby in her tummy and feed it, too. "You mean, after I get married, I can have Mommy milk come out of my nipples too?!?!?!"

That girl cracks me up. Almost as great as the time she came prancing out of the bathroom, naked, singing a perky little song about how she has chubby bum cheeks because everyone has chubby bum cheeks. And now Peter sings that song, too.

Isn't she beautiful?

Holy cow, my children. Now, for the rest of the pics.

My little physicians like to give me exams all the time.

Mike, the night he shaved to raise money for St. Baldrick's .

This was his solution to the baldness problem.

The three burritos after tubby night.

Happy Spring!

The Whole Story

Hey y'all. So, if you haven't heard the news, we're totally crazy.

Yep. There's another hooligan in the works. Because I'm awesome. But there's more to this story.

See, when I was pregnant/newly postpartum with the boys, we got a lot of "oh boy, you've got your hands full! You're done, right?" To which I smiled and tried not to smack anybody with my extremely angry hormones for trying to make life decisions for me. But to be honest, I always knew we weren't. I mean, look how cute my babies are. Seriously.

But we weren't thinking just yet. You know, medical school and all that. But move forward to about a year ago (Christmas break 2013). We were finally settled enough (and the boys were old enough) for us to go to the Chicago Temple for the first time. We were really excited and just needed that quiet spiritual experience that we hadn't had for a while. Then, before the session, I heard someone say "Lucy," a name that had been on my baby list ever since Katie, and which had since moved to the top of the list. Needless to say, it kind of stuck. All through the session, everything seemed to be pointing at babies. I couldn't stop thinking about it.

After the session, when I got to talk to Mike, I said, "You're going to think I'm totally crazy." To which he responded, "Lucy's ready to come, isn't she?"

Turns out, we had both had the same thought. It was obvious to both of us that there was another little spirit waiting for us to get our act together and be their parents. We agreed that we weren't ready yet, but that having another baby shouldn't wait until Mike was a practicing doctor. We decided to wait a while, but to keep it on the table.

But there are hiccups.

For those of you who don't know, having babies doesn't come easy for me. Without medication, my reproductive system does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Katie and the boys were results of a whole lot of prescriptions, crying, and fertility appointments. I am lucky enough to have a fixable problem so I didn't have to go all the way to in vitro, but it still takes a LOT of time and MONEY. Holy catfish, the money. Pretty much zero insurances cover infertility. Needless to say, my other babies were born in much more financially secure times.

So in August, when I started constantly having the thought that we needed to start trying for a baby, it was kind of stressful. For one thing, Mike had just started his second year and was pretty stressed, so the whole baby thing wasn't at the top of his list. For another, our budget hasn't been super flexible. For another, I was afraid. Even though I knew it was possible, it does take a lot of medications and hormones and stress, and it takes a few rounds. I wasn't ready for the emotional trauma.

So we delayed. I kind of pushed the thought out of my mind whenever it came, even though it came often. Then, in December, after a lot of fasting and praying, Mike and I both knew that we couldn't delay any more. I got up my courage as much as possible and called an OB. I made an appointment for the end of January. I almost cancelled it a lot of times because I was afraid we couldn't afford it.

Then, in January, things started happening. I was shocked, worried, and trying not to get my hopes up. Then, the week my appointment was supposed to be, I found out I was pregnant.

This must be one important baby.

Now that you've stuck through my whole crazy emotional story about my miracle baby, I will tell you some of the fabulous things that my kids have done since we found out and told them. They're pretty funny.

Katie has been the most gung-ho, since she still remembers when I was TWIN pregnant. She insists that I need to take care of her "little sister". (I tend to believe her because of the whole Lucy incident. Mike says it'll be way funny if it's another boy.) She's gotten quite protective of me. For one thing, she gets all crazy about not letting anybody near my abdomen, because the boys like to jump on me.

For another, she and Josh have taken it upon themselves to feed me. Since I get SUPER SUPER sick when I'm pregnant, it's hard for me to stay fed/hydrated. So one thing I did was get some flavored sparkling water, so it would be easier on my stomach. Now every afternoon when the boys are asleep, and I'm usually sitting down to take a break, Katie comes over with a couple of flavors and says, "Mom, do you need some water? Which one do you want?"

Then, today, after we went to the zoo (which, admittedly, may have been too much for me by myself), I was feeling really sick and a little crampy, so I was lying down while the kids and Mike ate dinner. So Josh took it upon himself to steal people's spoons and then come over to me and put it next to my face and say, "eat!" He then tried to bring me a full glass of water, but thankfully Mike stopped him before disaster struck.

Basically, my kids are really sweet.

But my favorite thing is how they've reacted to the news. Katie was cool with it. But then she asked to see a picture of the baby. (This was before my ulrasound.) So I pulled up one of those pregnancy websites that has CGI images of babies week by week, and showed her the little wormy that the baby would be. Her response? "She's not very cute, is she?"

The boys still don't really get it, even though we've talked about it. We pray for the baby to be healthy all the time, but it's kind of over their heads. But one day I think I got close with Joshy. He, predictably, tried to jump on me, so we talked about how there's a baby in my tummy. I repeated it a few times, and he got this look on his face like, "um, kay . . ." Then he started trying to pull my shirt down and look down it, saying, "baby in there? Baby in there?"

I was like, sure kid. But at least he's starting to get it.

As for Peter, I kind of think he's in denial even if he's starting to get it. See, since he's the littler of the two, he's kind of adopted the youngest role. He likes to cuddle, he likes to be held, etc. I call all of my kids "baby," but I think he gets the "baby boy" way more than his brother, because Joshy just puts off a bigger-kid vibe. I think Peter just has more of a baby face still. But even when he insists that "I'm Petey!" he milks it for all it's worth. He's going to have a really hard time when there's an actual baby.

There've been a few other incidents that have made me think Joshy and Katie are ready. Katie talks to my belly all the time, even though it's not really a belly yet (at least, not a pregnant belly). And Josh, at one point, wanted to put diapers on all of his stuffed animals. But then, I've held for a while that Josh is my most helpful child currently. He's the only one who ever wants to help with chores, like putting away clean silverware from the dishwasher, or even helping me fold laundry (when I let him). He's a funny kid.

Mostly I just crave meat and pasta. And I'm trying to find fruits and veggies that don't make me puke. Basically Zofran is my best friend.

Anyhow, that's the whole story. I'll be posting an eviction notice on the crib effective October 11.

Holy Mackerel, a Dinosaur!!!

That's right, Dinosaur. I discovered this great thing that the Field Museum in downtown Chicago was free for Illinois residents for the ENTIRE month of February. Oh. Man.

AND, since Mike finished his last final on Thursday, we had an entire day on Friday just to do family stuff. So we used it. And my hooligans LOVED it. More than they could ever possibly describe to you. This might have something to do with the fact that we were already 45 minutes on our way into the city before we realized that we forgot the stroller, so the boys got to actually go up to stuff and pretend to be big kids. Either way, it was the highlight of, like, their entire life.

So, to apologize for not having blogged for an unnecessarily long time, here are some pictures of our outing.

Katie found her long lost family--the giant katydids. 

Trying out the compound eyes like a bug

Aaaah! A dinosaur!

Yeah, it was pretty cool. The boys got all excited about the lions and the giant gorilla, and Katie was just . . . excited. We had a good time. I think they'll like it even better next year when they're bigger.

In other news, my hooligans are definitely hooligans. But they sure are cute. Here's one of my favorite cute things that they do.

Welcome to the BLIZZARD

I am purposefully not watching a movie right now so I can finish this blog post. I started it a few days ago, but got distracted and had to go to bed before finishing. I think living all of my life with loud and crazy hooligans has made me uncomfortable with silence, so I usually turn something on while Mike is studying, even if I'm not really watching it. But apparently I picked too good of a movie last week. Anyhow, here's my post.

Hey there, wintertime buddies. Wanna hear something crazy? Last Saturday (as of last Thursday), my porch was totally dry. And then, afternoon-ish time, when we were checking the weather, there was a giant 'ole red exclamation point next to all the weather. So we clicked on that red exclamation point.

WINTER STORM WARNING! Hide your kids! Hide your wives!

Thus, we prepared. And by prepared we were like, "whatever, it's a normal winter day in Chicago."

BUT WAIT. It gets better. About the time it started pouring snow all over our poor, innocent faces, the warning on the weather report changed. The winter storm warning was still there, but starting Sunday afternoon, there was a BLIZZARD WARNING.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To be fair, we were actually quite excited. I don't know how many of you have been in a super legit blizzard before, but it's really cool . . . so long as you're inside your well-insulated home with a good stock of hot chocolate and Boursin cheese (and don't forget the crackers!). You just shouldn't drive anywhere. Well, the next morning before we got a chance to shower for church, we got all the texts and emails from everything saying that church was canceled.

At first I was like, "Really? Really? Seriously?"

And then I looked at what was happening out the window.

And by that I mean that we got about 20" of snow in just over 24 hours.

So it's probably really good for everyone's health that church was canceled. But it made for a really fun week full of snow adventures!

Sunday after lunch (but before the real BLIZZARD hit), the kids and Mike bundled up and just went out on the balcony. As you can see, visibility was already not great, and the snow was up to Katie's knees before she and Mike tromped it down for the boys to walk on.

Isn't Josh attractive?

Of course, the real fun began Monday, after the blizzard passed over and we could actually go outside! I dragged the boys across the street to our common area-thingy on their sled, because there was SO MUCH SNOW!!!!! And then, after we got to the snow and Katie and I started tromping around playing in it, Peter asked me to set him on his "boat" on top of the snow. You know, because the snow went up past his waste.

Yeah, we had a good time. And fortunately for you, I've been keeping track of a bunch of the adorable (or not-so-adorable) things my hooligans have said. Prepare to be inundated with shenanigans.

Me: (something about something old-fashioned to Mike)

Katie: I'm not old-fashioned!

Me: Nope, you're new-fangled.

Katie: I'm beautiful-fangled!

Me: Jesus wants me for a sunbeam! 

Katie: Mom, you know your belly jiggles when you jump?

Me: (Fortunately, nothing I was thinking came out of my mouth at this point.)

So, Mike and I have been toying with the idea of looking for a new place this summer when our lease runs out, because I've seen a few houses (with yards!) for rent for less than we're paying now. We were talking a little about it last weekend while eating lunch and Katie immediately stuck her head up from her sandwich and shouted, "MOVE BACK TO BOISE!!!"

We tried to explain that we couldn't move back to Boise right now, and she was like, "yes we can. We just need to get a truck and drive for a few days!"

My boys have really started being cute with their language. Most of the things they say aren't really quote-worthy, but the adorable way that Peter says "thank you!" Or the way Joshy annunciates "apple juice!" But they have their quirks. For example,

Me: What do you guys want for lunch?

Katie: I dunno, a quesadilla I guess.

Peter: Chicken nuggets, ketchup, barbie sauce!

Josh: Nuggets! Barbie sauce!

I swear, they would have chicken nuggets with "barbie" sauce for every meal. And Josh would eat all the nuggets, and Peter would lick off all the sauce. Luckily, I'm a good mom who at least supplements the chicken nuggets with milk and fruit. 

My favorite thing recently, though, has been Joshy's identity crisis. One of the funny things about their being twins is that they learned each other's names before they learned their own. And now that they're basically speaking English, they know everybody's names. But Joshy . . . has been a little confused. 

I first started realizing it whenever I'd have Josh in front of a mirror, after the bath or washing his hands or whatever. And I'd say, "Who's that?" And he'd say, "Petey!" At first I just thought he was confused by his reflection, because even if they look way different from each other, they still look like little blond brothers. But then we'd be playing the game at dinner where we point to everybody around the table and say, "who's that?" When I'd point to Josh he'd say, "Petey!" And then Peter would get really offended and say, "No! Joshy!"

I think we're getting it figured out, though. I've only gotten him to say "Josh" a couple of times, but he doesn't call himself Peter anymore. Even though it was a little hilarious to watch his brother get offended.

It's late now, and I'm kind of tired. Want some pictures? Well, here you go.

That was seriously the least blurry shot we got that night. Those boys LOVE jumping on Katie's bed. It makes me really nervous to ever think about letting them have toddler beds, even though I'll have to let them eventually. The hooligans.